THE GREAT OCEAN ROAD, AUSTRALIA

I was heading toward the “Great Ocean Road” south of Melbourne, but now I was heading west and then north through the suburbs. It would have been much easier if not for the fact that Melbourne has a system of toll roads that preclude anyone from going south without using them, or having intimate knowledge of every side street in town. Why not just use the toll road, you say? Well in Melbourne the toll roads have no booths so the only way to legally use them on a one-time basis is to call or use their website with your license number and pay the $9 for a one-day pass, even if you only go a few miles. There is a free road south out of town, but I missed that and I was hesitant to pay the $9 at first, but eventually I was almost ready to rent a helicopter to pick my rental car up with a claw and deposit me on a road going in the right direction. One of the things that is particularly daunting when driving on the other side is that your normal panic maneuver, pulling over to the right, is now pulling over to the left, and I can’t describe how different that actually feels at first when your car is mostly on your left to begin with. It was a bit like driving backwards using a mirror. Even if I had paid for the Collision Damage Waiver I would be worried about the large deductible that would kick in if I so much as grazed someone’s mirror or an unsuspecting pedestrian.

I drove for about 45 minutes (seriously) in mostly the wrong direction, until I finally found a freeway large enough to appear on my ultra-basic car rental map. About 30 minutes later I was finally leaving town in the desired direction. I briefly considered just giving up on my visit to the Great Ocean Road, but even at the time I realized that would sound idiotic and wimpy so I stayed the course and found my way out of town.

The Great Ocean Road, by the way, is supposedly a world-class stretch of beach road that runs along the coast south of Melbourne and heading west, away from Sydney. I was originally made aware of its existence from my Australian friend, but I later discovered that he himself had never actually bothered to check it out in person.

Anyway, it was still only a bit after noon at this point and I had another 5 hours of daylight left. I followed the signs and was soon off the freeway again and on a main road that connects all the beach towns. The GOR, as I’ll call it from now on, is about 150 miles long, but the eastern 100 miles or so are supposed to be nicer than the other part. When the signs finally told me that I was officially on the GOR I was underwhelmed. The O, of course, stands for ocean, but I only got vague and brief glimpses of the water as I optimistically forged on. Not unlike, say, California’s Highway 1 near Big Sur, the GOR is anything but straight, so speeds are slow, even with little traffic.

On I went and 20 minutes or so into the official GOR section I finally started seeing the O and started seeing what some of the fuss is about. The coastline in this part of Australia is very handsome, particularly as every few miles reveals a different pristine sandy beach. The car was handling nicely and the radio stations were occasionally strong enough to receive. There isn’t really one thing that is spectacular about the GOR, but the total experience is very nice. Since this was off-season I had long stretches of the road to myself and this certainly enhanced the appeal. Even at the time I concluded that the nicest thing about the GOR is that it’s a modern highway along a beautiful coastline, but mostly because there is almost no development at all along the way. It’s not like a national park, it’s just that there are only a few small towns in the area so there just hasn’t been a build-up, yet.

The most famous thing along the GOR is something called the 12 Apostles. Very close to the western end of the road there is a small park with a viewing area to overlook these rock formations just off the shore. The sun was going down when I arrived, but as any photo buff will tell you, this is prime time to take a few snapshots. I parked the rental car and hustled under the tunnel to the edge of the cliffs. Even though the road itself had been nearly empty there were a surprising amount of tourists joining me at the lookout. The 12 Apostles is really only 9 rocks, and from any one spot on land you can see no more than 5 or 6 of them at a time.

It was a bit cloudy and a bit sunny. It wasn’t intentional, but the lighting was spectacular for taking photos so I took full advantage and shot away. These photos are some of the least unprofessional shots I’ve ever taken.

It really was a breathtaking view under the lighting conditions and I was very happy to be there. What made it slightly more special is that a couple months after my visit there one of the most prominent Apostles actually crumbled and died a natural death. My photos of it are probably worth a fortune now, or at least they would be if not for the fact that millions of other people have similar photos already.

I was finally adjusting to driving on the left, but I still had a crummy map and it was getting dark. I decided to take a short cut to the small town where I decided to stay for the night. The shortcut took me down a long and straight, but tiny road through some farmland. It was a bit stressful, but I eventually got back to the main highway that goes back to Melbourne and I stopped for the night in the first town I came across.

I really didn’t want to pay a fortune for a motel room and I actually passed on the first two places where I stopped because they wanted around $AU70 for a simple room. That’s not too bad, but these were tiny rural towns. I eventually stayed at a “hotel”, which in this case was the traditional Australian sort consisting of a pub and rooms for rent upstairs. I got a room for $AU40 or so and can check another thing off my list of experiences.

The next morning I started out early and drove a hundred miles or so on the main highway (instead of the GOR) back to Melbourne and beyond. The farm areas in this part of Australia were lovely rolling hills occasionally dotted with small forests. This was almost as nice of a drive as the GOR, mostly because it’s a very nice area with almost no development. It all reminded me of things I have seen in California, but the landscape is probably as California looked in the 1920s.

I drove through Melbourne on the toll road because I had no choice. It seems like a great system if you live there because the monthly fee is probably reasonable, but to just pass through it’s a bit pricey. Fortunately I could register my trip and pay on their website up to 3 days later, so that’s what I did.

I was very happy to be in rural areas again. It would be something like a 10 or 12-hour drive from Melbourne to Sydney, but I still had 3 full days before I had to return the car. This day and the next one were very pleasant, but uneventful. By the time I stopped for the night on the second evening I was in a curiously named coastal city called Lakes Entrance. During summer I guess it’s a big water sports Mecca, but in autumn it’s a sleepy town without much going on.

My third night was spent in the even more curiously named Ulla Dulla, which is only 80 miles or so from Sydney. After the Great Ocean Road, the highlight of the drive was my side trip to the Blue Mountains, which are only an hour or two north of Sydney. As I drove up the mountain I could barely tell it was a mountain at all. It’s a gentle slope up, but no peak is visible until you actually arrive in the main town at the top.

Actually even when you get into the town you don’t realize these are mountains until you go to one of the vista points and look over. The main formation that steals all the headlines is the Three Sisters. They are nice enough, but the overwhelming thing is the giant canyon area visible below you when you look over the edge. There is supposedly a blue haze often visible, which gives the mountains their name, but I didn’t really notice it.

The following day I drove back into Sydney to return the car. The agency was in a part of the CBD that I was familiar with, but the roads approaching it got me all turned around. This was by far the most stressful part of the drive since actually leaving Melbourne and I was looking forward to a hopefully safe return of the car. It was raining and the roads were pretty crowded. My basic map was so basic that again, I barely had much to go on, but I found my way and managed to return the car with nary a scratch on it.