Road Report Archives

I Go To Rio

Dear South America (and Europe, while I’m at it),

When I am finishing eating at one of your splendid restaurants and you take away my empty dinner plate, please ask me if I’d like the bill, or just go ahead and bring it. I promise I won’t be offended. I am tired of having to set my hair on fire just to get your attention so I can then beg for my check. You see, I am an American so I always have something to do, even if it’s just go back to my hotel room for a nap. Besides, I am usually dining alone, so what sort of meditation do you think I am involved in that I want to sit for hours on end in your restaurant by myself?

Thank you for your consideration.

Here I am in Rio de Janeiro. As mentioned previously, my plane ticket with a stopover in Rio worked out perfectly, except that this is the most crowded and expensive time of the year, by far. I looked into nearby cities as a refuge, but they are almost as bad since the locals here also flee the city during Carnaval. I was faced with paying $130 per night for a mediocre hotel until I found an apartment rental agency that solved my problem. Have you ever seen the movie “The City of God”? I haven’t, but I will be spending a week in the neighborhood in which they filmed that movie. I’m not particularly religious, but with a name like that it sounds like a heavenly place to spend a week!

It wasn’t my idea, but in order to get cheap one-way international fares with free stopovers I had to claim to be a teacher in Guatemala and now I hold an official card that gives me student prices for the whole year. It was also someone else’s suggestion, but in order to get a super cheap corporate rate at the 5-star Copacabana Marriott I had to pose as an IBM employee. I actually spent a good deal of time with Adobe Illustrator on my laptop recreating my old IBM business card (I worked for them for over 3 years, a long time ago) and then had some printed up in Buenos Aires on card stock, just to get the huge discount. Teacher, IBM employee, what’s next? I have become Roger Wade: International Cheapskate of Mystery.

Actually, I have seen City Of God and it was shot in one of the brightly painted slums nearby called Favelas, which have become a key part of the tourist business here for some reason. I will probably take one of those tours and hopefully the gunfire will be minimal. The apartment I rented is 2 blocks behind the oceanfront Meridian hotel in Copacabana. The place normally rents for $240/month, but during Carnaval it is $400 for the week. That is still half what the cheapest decent hotels are charging and it’s nicer and larger than my last NYC apartment. It’s furnished with a fully equipped kitchen, but has no TV. Instead of the constant drone of CNN International or MTV Latin America around me I am now alone with my thoughts. I finally have peaceful time to reflect on and consider the past. For example, I have been thinking a lot about that Simpsons episode when they went to Rio and Homer got kidnapped. That was a good one.

Carnaval officially starts on Saturday and ends on Tuesday (Tuesday?!?!?!) and I fly to Lisbon on Wednesday evening to start the European leg of my journey.